


The Perfect Roommate

by headoverhook



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:11:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3845311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headoverhook/pseuds/headoverhook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma was in desperate need of a roommate, but wasn't finding anyone who suited her. Until her brother David presented her the perfect roommate. A man who had an obsession with tidiness, who was a great cook, and most importantly ... he was gay.  Roommate AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**I know, I know! I have already two stories going, but this idea popped into my head and I was like ... oh my God ... YES!**

**What can I say … I fell instantly in love with it, and my muse is still freaking out in my head, so … here it is. I hope you'll like the idea as much as I do. :-)**

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, just this story!**

* * *

**Prologue**

This would probably bite him in the ass at some point, but he was worried about his little sister. She wasn't living in the safest part of the city, and of course – stubborn as she was – she refused to move. He'd told her she could live with Mary Margaret and him. That it wouldn't be a problem. Her answer had been a huff and a roll of her eyes.

This was definitely a 'desperate times call for desperate measures' situation.

He hadn't talked with Killian yet, but he was sure he could convince his friend to play along. Killian had just moved to the States, Emma didn't know much about him, only that David had lived with him when he'd worked abroad for one summer, and Killian and he had stayed in touch all this time. He would be a perfect roommate for Emma, and when he moved in David could stop worrying.

"I might have the perfect roommate for you, little sister," David interrupted Emma's ranting about how it was a nightmare to find a roommate, and his sister clapped her mouth shut and just stared at him, waiting for him to clarify. "You remember Killian Jones?"

"Your roomie when you were abroad?" Emma asked, furrowing her brows.

"Yep, that one," David replied. "I told you he drove me crazy with his tidiness, but I put up with it because he is an insanely great cook."

"He is a man," Emma told him exasperated. "I have enough of men right now. I'm not gonna live with one again."

"That's actually what makes him perfect."

"You've lost me."

"Didn't I mention that he is gay?"

-/-

"I found the perfect apartment for you," David said, slumping down beside Killian on the couch.

He'd just arrived from England yesterday, the jet lag still throwing him for a loop. His eyes were burning, and he was bone tired but couldn't sleep. He'd forgotten how much he hated jet lag. Leaning his head back, he blinked one eye open and looked at his friend. "You have?"

"Yes, my little sister is searching for a roommate. The rent would be very moderate, and you would do me a huge favor."

"Favor? By moving in with your baby sister?" Killian asked, his voice tinged with incredulity. Normally big brothers tended to keep him the hell away from their little sisters, not shoving him in their direction.

"I don't like the part of the city she is living in, but she's stubborn and don't want to move," David explained. "I would just worry a lot less if I knew someone is keeping an eye on her."

"What's the catch, mate?"

"Why does there have to be a catch?"

"Spit it out."

David was squirming around, shooting him a lopsided grin before averting his eyes to the ground. Whatever the catch was it was apparently something big, but he'd never have expected it to be something like this, and his mouth dropped open when David blurted out, "I told her you're gay."


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, the response to the prologue was really overwhelming. Thank you all so much!**

**So ... I didn't have as much time over the weekend for writing as I wished, but I thought you might enjoy getting a new chapter already today, even if it's really on the short side. But I'm still setting up the stage, and the next chapter will definitely be longer. I promise. :-)**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Why exactly did she agree to meeting him?

To get her brother of her back of course. And because maybe Killian was the perfect match for her. It might have its advantages to have a gay roommate who she could use to chase annoying men away. She always thought having a gay friend would be amazing. You could check out men together, and you never had to fear that he would develop feelings for you. You could just be yourself.

Yeah, maybe having a gay roommate could be fun.

-/-

He'd questioned his own sanity more than once after he'd agreed to David's asinine plan, but the moment Emma opened the door he realized that he couldn't go through with the plan after all. It was just not possible to act as if he was gay in front of her.

No bloody way.

But then she showed him through the apartment, and he had to reevaluate his rejection of the plan again. Because her apartment was perfect. He could see she liked a clean environment as much as he did, and the whole apartment was light and homey, making him feel rested for the first time since he'd stepped on US soil.

He really didn't want to spend the next two weeks until he started his new job with the search for an apartment. He had already realized that getting an apartment for an appropriate rent here in Manhattan would be a nightmare, and he didn't want to live with David and Mary-Margaret any longer than he needed to. Because watching them swoon all over each other was something he just couldn't stand right now.

"So, there is a plan for house cleaning of course." Emma's voice interrupted his thoughts, and he forced himself to focus on her again. "Shoes are off at the doorstep. The toilet lid stays down, peeing only while you're sitting down. No one-night stands coming home with you. You have to go to his apartment or take a hotel room. There are only  _real_  partners allowed in this apartment."

"Understood," Killian replied instantly, because that would be no problem. He was definitely not bringing any men back to the apartment, and he never ever took women home with him. Never. So that would be no problem at all. Maybe sticking to the plan wouldn't be that hard after all.

"I think I would like to give you a chance. Say, three months probationary period to see if we could live with each other? What do you think?"

He only hesitated a moment before he took her outstretched hand and shook it. "I think that's a splendid idea, Swan."

Her mouth tilted up into a smile then, and for one second his heart stopped beating. God, she was gorgeous. But the moment passed in a blink of an eye, and her hand slipped out of his, her voice a distant murmur as he followed her to the door and stepped outside.

"Oh, and by the way," Emma said, leaning against the door frame, the smile still lingering on her lips. "It's such a shame."

"What's a shame?" he asked, tilting his head and cocking an eyebrow at her.

"That you're lost for us forever."

"Us?"

"The female population," she explained, the smile on her face turning into a broad grin. "Because you're one hunk of a man."

He was glad she'd already shut the door, because he was sure the expression on his face would have given him away. He stared dumbfounded at the closed door for a few moments before he walked down the stairs, and stepped out onto the sidewalk, reaching for his phone.

"How did it go?" David said without a greeting.

"You forgot to mention that your sister is scorching hot," Killian told his friend.

"And that's a problem?" David asked, and the tone of his voice told Killian that he needed to tread carefully.

"No," he replied hastily. "Of course not. No problem at all."

"So you're moving in with her?"

"Yes," Killian said, closing his eyes and dooming himself to weeks of torture as he added, "I'm moving in with her."

"Thank you, Killian. I owe you one."

His fingers tightened around his phone as he stared down at it. For a brief moment he contemplated if he should call David back and tell him that he couldn't go through with the plan, but something kept him from dialing his friend's number. But he definitely needed to find a new apartment as soon as possible. Because he didn't think he could live with Emma for long without slamming her against the next wall and fucking her senseless.

Because he wasn't gay after all, and bloody hell … Emma was one hell of a woman.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm floored! Thank you all so much!**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Looking around the sparkling kitchen, she asked herself if she hadn't made the biggest mistake of her life by letting Killian move in with her. The last time she'd lived with a man it had ended in a disaster, a lot of angry words had been exchanged, her heart had been broken, and she'd needed to find a new apartment to live in.

The apartment had been a lucky find, and she feared letting a man into it could sully the peace she'd found here.

Taking in a deep breath, she told herself to stop panicking. After all Killian was gay. Completely different story. He wouldn't break her heart, because there was no danger of her falling in love with him, or vice versa.

Her mouth curled up into a self-deprecating smile as she remembered the skip of her heart when her eyes fell on Killian for the first time. She hadn't lied to him when she told him he was one hunk of a man, because she couldn't remember ever seeing a more gorgeous man.

Everything about him was just breathtaking, and somehow his gorgeousness was one of the reasons she let him move in. Because she wanted to stay away from the dating life for some time, but that didn't mean she wasn't willing to enjoy some eye candy to look at every day, and it was actually refreshing to know she could enjoy his company without having to fear that one of them would develop romantic feelings for the other. But a little ogling wouldn't hurt anyone after all.

She hadn't missed the intelligence twinkling in his eyes either, nor had she missed the shadow of pain in his gaze. He'd probably had his fair share of romantic problems himself. David had told her Killian needed to get away from England for some time, and she knew the look of someone who was trying to flee their past.

It wasn't any of her business. He was only her roommate, not her friend. He would pay rent, money she needed, and if they didn't get along she could always throw him out after the three months were over.

But she wanted him to feel comfortable, especially since moving from England to the States was already a big step. So she had cleaned the apartment like a maniac, and she'd even bought some flowers and had arranged them in the jug she'd found at the flee market a few months ago.

She had to admit she felt a little silly to get too so much length, wondering if the flowers weren't a little too much, and she actually let out a shriek when the door bell suddenly rang.

"Jeez, Swan. Get a grip," she mumbled before walking to the door to let her new roommate in.

-/-

She looked cute when she opened the door with a slightly nervous smile on her face. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail, and simple black glasses were sitting on her nose. He actually liked the simple look. More often than not women tended to put too much makeup on, and you didn't even recognize them anymore when you saw them without makeup for the first time.

But Emma was beautiful. Even more beautiful without makeup and in lounge clothes.

She let him in and showed him to his room, telling him that he should get comfortable, and if he liked they could order Chinese later and go over a few more things they needed to address.

Killian found it a little eerie how comfortable he already felt when he joined her half an hour later after he'd taken a quick shower. They talked about the usual things – how to go about grocery shopping, which cleaning plan he would prefer, doing some small talk to get to know each other better, avoiding any real personal questions for now, something he really appreciated.

She wasn't prying into his personal affairs as so many other women had tried to do, as if they needed to know everything about him already after one hour. He was a very private person, especially after the whole Milah fiasco, and he wasn't willing to share personal details with a practical stranger.

But something told him Emma was actually a lot like him in that regard, and it was easy to talk to her. He caught himself grinning a lot, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled that much. But it was just too adorable how she kept stealing the food out of his boxes without even noticing that she was doing it, calling him a liar when he called her out on it.

It was pretty nice for a change when he was not devoured with hungry eyes. Normally women didn't even want to look behind the facade. They loved his looks, wanted to get boned by a handsome man who they hoped would give them a great fuck, not caring if he wanted to have an actual conversation first. He'd thought Milah was different. But in the end it'd turned out she was exactly like all the others.

But this woman was definitely different. Maybe because she believed he was gay, and talked to him like a normal human being, and didn't treat him like some sex toy that she could use once and throw away afterwards. As if looking handsome meant he didn't care if women just used him as if he didn't have any feelings at all.

He did have feelings though, and actually talking to a woman who apparently enjoyed his company - without him needing to wonder if she only tried conversing with him to get him into bed - was so refreshing.

When he closed his door behind him he was still smiling, and when he climbed into bed he reached for his phone and set the alarm. He would make her breakfast tomorrow. It was the least he could do to thank her for letting him move in.

-/-

Emma woke up to the scent of freshly brewed coffee, and she stumbled out of bed, not bothering with putting on any makeup or brushing her hair. She ran her hands through her hair, just to make sure it wouldn't be a complete mess, brushed her teeth in record time and slipped into sweatpants and a top, before she made her way to the kitchen.

It wasn't as if she had to impress anyone with her sparkling self. It was Sunday, and the one making her breakfast was not a man she'd slept with the night before – not that anyone of them had ever made her breakfast – he was just her gay roommate, and she would be the last one to complain about him making her breakfast.

She blinked twice when she stepped into the kitchen, sighing inwardly as her eyes fell on him. Tilting her head, she watched him for a few seconds, her eyes trailing from his shoulders down to his waist, lingering a few long seconds on his perfect ass in this tight jeans, before dropping her gaze to his bare feet.

Damn, she could definitely get used to this. The view - and the breakfast.

The counter was set for two, the jug of flowers she'd arranged yesterday standing in the middle. A plate of fresh fruit was waiting for her, and she inhaled deeply, actually letting out a sigh as all the delicious scents hit her nostrils.

"Good morning, Swan." He'd turned around as he heard her sigh, his mouth tilting up into a lopsided grin as he waved with the spatula towards the counter. "Take a seat. Pancakes are ready in a minute, and coffee will be ready in five."

"Morning," she replied as she slipped on the bar stool, snatching a piece of pineapple from the plate, letting out a moan when she bit down and the sweet juice filled her mouth. "God, you bought the good ones."

"Dig in," he said as he placed a plate of pancakes in front of her, and she suppressed another sigh as she looked at the perfectly gold-brown color of the pancakes, and her mouth actually watered as she grabbed one with her fork and pulled it on her plate, reaching for the maple syrup.

She let out another groan as she tasted the first bite. The pancakes had the exact right consistency and just tasted heavenly. But before she could compliment him on his work she heard the milk frother of her coffee machine, and looked up surprised. She never used that damn thing. Too time-consuming. But he handled it with ease, and a few seconds later the coffee mug stood in front of her.

"Skinny cinnamon dolce latte for the lady," he said, chuckling when her mouth fell open with surprise. "David told me your favorite."

"Thank you," she mumbled, feeling slightly overwhelmed by this perfect breakfast. No one had ever gone to such length for her, and she reached for the coffee to take a sip, feeling ridiculous as she let out another moan but she just couldn't help it. The coffee tasted fantastic, and without thinking about it, she blurted out, "God, I should have gotten myself a gay roommate sooner."

"I'm not sure what my sexuality has to do with my ability to cook," he replied, sitting down beside her, and her cheeks burned bright red when he tilted his head and continued with a cocked eyebrow, "Aren't you damning my gender a little too hastily here, Swan?"

"Well, I've never encountered one straight man who could actually cook," she argued, gesturing towards the pancakes on her plate as she added, "At least not like you."

"Then you apparently haven't met the right one yet."

"Maybe. So ..." She leaned forward, fluttering her eye lashes at him as she asked innocently, "Can I assume that this is going to be a weekly occurrence?"

"Me making you breakfast?" he questioned, his mouth twitching as he reached for the plate with pancakes.

"Yup."

"Depends on what you're offering in return," he replied, shooting her a lopsided smirk that made her wish for a second he wasn't actually gay, but she stomped that feeling down immediately before it could take roots.

"You cook, I clean afterwards," she told him, stretching out her hand. "Deal?"

"Okay, love," he said, closing his fingers around hers, and she was definitely not feeling a surge of energy jumping from his hand to hers. Definitely not. "You have yourself a deal."

-/-

He closed the door to his bedroom firmly behind him, sagging back against it, groaning softly as he adjusted his pants once again.

Maybe making her breakfast hadn't been such a great idea after all, because the sounds she'd made while devouring it sounded too close to the noises he supposed she'd make in the bedroom, and his cock had definitely not received the message that they weren't supposed to get aroused by any sounds of a female. No matter how gorgeous that female was.

And then he actually agreed to make breakfast for her every Sunday. Apparently his brain had stopped working the moment the first moan had slipped over her lips. Not that that was really surprising since he was way too busy trying to hide his obvious arousal from her, and he hadn't thought about the consequences when he said yes.

Now he had to endure her moans every Sunday, and he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to keep up the charade if she was continuing to torture him like that. The worst thing was, she didn't even know she was torturing him. He couldn't even blame her for using her female wiles on him, because she wasn't even trying to arouse him.

_Bloody hell!_

There were definitely a lot of cold showers in his future, and he might have to use his hand more often than anticipated to find at least some release. He needed some time to find a new apartment, and he wasn't willing to leave here before the three months were over.

Even if it would kill him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all so much! It makes me sooooo happy that you're enjoying this little story of mine. I have so much fun writing it. So much fun. Wahey! :-)**

* * *

**Chapter 3  
**

"Wow," Mary Margaret breathed. "Just wow."

Emma didn't have to turn her head to know what her friends were looking at. Mary Margaret's mouth fell open, Ruby's eyes went up and down, clearly assessing someone, and Elsa was sitting there with a dazzled expression on her face.

"Good morning, ladies."

"Morning, handsome," Ruby drawled, her gaze dropping again, and Emma could just roll her eyes.

She turned around to greet her roommate, but the words died on her tongue as she got a look at him. Seriously?

"Tell me you're bi," Ruby exclaimed, and Emma swirled her head around, throwing her friend a dirty look.

"Ruby!"

"What?" Ruby asked nonchalantly, still devouring Killian with her eyes. "I'm sure he knows that he is gorgeous as fuck."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart," Killian replied, waving his hand in an over exaggerated gay manner, bowing slightly. "This beauty is 100% gay."

Emma would never admit it out loud, but Ruby was right. She almost started drooling when he walked to the kitchen counter to make himself a cup of coffee.

He was only wearing boxer briefs, and all she could see was just the right amount of muscles everywhere. She gulped hard as she remembered the sight of his bare chest, the happy trail down his stomach, and her fingers itched to trace over the smooth muscles on his back.

This was so not good. She was lusting after her roommate. Her _gay_ roommate.

She forced herself to look away, staring at her coffee mug, waiting for him to disappear in his room again, knowing her friends would grill her the moment he was out of earshot.

"This is your new roommate?" Elsa questioned when his door fell shut. "Emma, you were holding out on us!"

"Do you think he does like ... carry around stuff at work?" Ruby asked, licking her lips. "I mean ... he is not just sitting behind a desk constructing ship parts, right? Tell me you have some pictures of him being all dirty and sweaty, carrying a pipe or something like that on his shoulder."

"He is an engineer!" Emma huffed out exasperatedly. "He is not carrying stuff around."

"But he does work out in the apartment sometimes, right?" Mary Margaret inquired, leaning forward slightly, looking at her expectantly.

"You're all so shallow. I can't believe it."

"He who is without sin, can cast the first stone."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look me in the eyes, and tell me you haven't thought about him in a sexual way," Ruby said, pointing a finger at her. "And don't lie, Emma."

"Doesn't matter," she mumbled. "He is gay. So I'm just enjoying the view."

"I knew it."

"Just shut up."

-/-

"Bloody hell!" he cursed as he closed the door behind him.

He'd assumed they'd be already gone; otherwise he'd never left his room only in his underwear. It had been a bloody close call; his cock had sprung to attention the moment Emma's eyes fell on him.

He'd seen women ogling him countless times, and it was obvious that she was enjoying what she was seeing. Normally he hated to be looked at as if he was some kind of object, because he did have a brain to that body after all. But somehow it was different with Emma, maybe because it seemed all more like a game. She knew nothing would ever come out of it, and a teasing flirting was normal for them by now.

But he hadn't been prepared to run into four females looking at him as if they would jump him any second, and maybe he should have felt affronted, but he was too busy trying to deflect from the obvious bulge growing in his briefs, that he'd just played along.

He groaned loudly when he remembered telling them that he wasn't bi. What the hell had been thinking? Well, not much actually - because all his blood had rushed southwards, and made it impossible to think clearly any longer. But playing this charade became harder and harder with each passing day.

At first he thought it a great idea to play the gay roommate. It would ease David's worries for the time being, and he had a place to stay for his first weeks in the States, and after that he'd only pop up in her life infrequently when they met over David. He didn't really have a plan on how to sell it to her when she'd find out that he wasn't gay, but the possibilities of her seeing him with a woman were pretty slim, and after all he could have always told her he was bi.

But he hadn't factored in that living with her would change all of that. First he started to like her, and then he went and shot the explanation - for the off-chance of her surprising him with a woman at one point - to hell. She would kill him if she ever found out.

He needed to find new living accommodations. Like right now.

-/-

One week later he still hadn't found any suitable apartment, and he'd just given up for the weekend, realizing he needed some relaxation time before Monday. So he crashed on the couch, and decided to play some NHL, hardly hearing Emma arriving, completely engrossed in the game.

"Scoot over," she said, letting her bag drop on the ground. "I'm gonna show you how it's done."

He looked at her astounded as she plopped down beside him and reached for the second control, her mouth curling up into a huge grin as she said, "You're gonna burn."

He'd always assumed the game was one of David's, a game that had just slipped into her pile of games by accident. Never would he have imagined that she could actually play it. Hockey wasn't usually a girl's game.

But God, had he been wrong.

She scored one after the other, letting him look like a fool, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't even get the puck into her net once.

"Wanna change to the easy settings," she teased, laughing when he mumbled a 'of course not' before concentrating on the game again.

"I think I'm in love with you," he told her without thinking after the game was over, and she'd wiped the ice with his ass, only realizing what he'd said when he turned his head and saw her slack-jawed expression. "I mean ... a woman who can play hockey like you ... wow, darling. You're every straight man's dream."

She rolled her eyes at him and shoved him off the couch, reminding him that he promised to make dinner tonight. He walked slowly towards the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to take out everything he needed, trying to ignore the niggling feeling in his stomach that his words might carry more truth than he wanted to admit.

-/-

"Give me that!" he growled, trying to snap the bag of cookies out of her hands, but she just dashed around the kitchen counter, evading his grasp. "Swan!"

She actually giggled when he leaped towards her, an embarrassingly girlish shriek coming out of her mouth as she jumped back, and started to race to the other side of the couch, having him hot on her heels.

She'd just rounded the couch when she was suddenly tackled from behind, and crashed forward onto the couch, an 'uff' escaping her as he landed atop of her.

"Gotcha!" he said triumphantly, jerking the bag out of her hand.

She couldn't even defend the cookies anymore, all she could think about was how good he felt atop of her, and a jolt of liquid hot lust pulsed through her, settling between her legs, as she imagined how it would feel like to have him atop of her like that without any clothes separating them, how it'd feel if he'd thrust into her from behind.

_Oh my God, please, get off of me before I do something stupid._

For a second she thought she'd actually said it out loud, because he jumped up and off of her as if his pants were on fire, and when she turned her head he was already almost out of the living room, waving the bag of cookies over his shoulder before he disappeared around the corner.

"Fuck!" she growled, slumping back into the couch, feeling the urge to scream into a pillow until she needed to come up for air.

Flipping around, she stared up at the ceiling, contemplating if she should seek out professional help. Because what was wrong with her? Why couldn't she stop having dirty thoughts about her roommate? He was gay for God's sake. Gay, gay, gay! Like 'straight' gay. He'd said it himself, he wasn't bi. He'd never be interested in her sexually, and she should be happy to have him as a friend, because she loved spending time with him. But no matter how hard she tried she couldn't help being drawn to him, wondering about how it'd be kissing him, how it'd be having sex with him. Thoughts she shouldn't have about him. Thoughts that just kept popping up in her brain though.

She knew she should throw him out; that she couldn't go on like this. But alone the thought of not seeing him every day made her sick to her stomach.

-/-

The door slammed closed behind him, and he threw the cookies on the table, not even bothering to shove down his sweat pants, just reaching into his boxer briefs to pull his rock hard cock out.

He'd only just managed to lift his body off of hers before she had realized that lying atop of her like that was arousing him. He was supposed to be gay. He wasn't supposed to get a boner because he fell atop of her and her sweet, round ass had grinded against his cock.

He let out an expletive as the back of his head hit the door, his fingers tightening around his cock, his hand jerking back and forth faster and faster until he spilled his release all over his hand.

Loosening his fingers around his cock, he looked down at his sticky hand, shaking his head about himself. He needed to get a grip. He needed to get out of here, before he would press her against the next wall, and just go for it. And imagine how that'd pan out when she realized he'd lied to her all this time.

Living with her was driving him slowly but surely insane. And it wasn't only the fact that he wanted her so much that he was in a constantly aroused state. No ... it was the fact that he really, really liked her. She was intelligent, funny, and he could just be himself with her.

And as he was staring into nothingness, his cum drying on his hand, he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

"Fuck, Jones," he murmured, hitting his head repeatedly against the door. "Now you've gone and fallen in love with her, you moron."

-/-

She woke up to her body throbbing with need, images of the dream still floating through her mind, and she slid one hand into her pants, finding herself soaking wet. Rubbing her clit, she wished it could be his fingers pleasuring her and not her own. Her breath quickened as she rubbed faster and faster, and moments later the wave of her climax crashed down on her, his name slipping over her lips as the tremors shook through her body.

She was staring into the darkness, panting, her fingers still lingering on her sensitive clit, and she felt the sudden urge to punch her fist into the wall.

This was insane.

This was just insane.

In the darkness of her room - with her hand still between her legs, and images of Killian floating through her mind - she could finally admit to herself that she'd done the unspeakable, most insane thing. Not only did she want him desperately, no ... somewhere over the last weeks she'd gone and fallen in love with him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Feel free to bang your heads against a hard surface while reading this chapter. ;-)**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Okay, what's the emergency?" Ruby asked as she propped her feet up on the table in front of her, eyeing Emma curiously.

Emma opened her mouth to speak, but closed it almost immediately. Her friends were sitting around her, all waiting patiently for her to speak.

"I fucked up," she finally blurted out, taking a huge sip of wine.

"I assume it has something to do with your gorgeous roommate?" Elsa asked gently, and Emma groaned, leaning her head back and staring up at the ceiling.

She startled slightly when she felt a hand close around her fingers, and she looked into the worried eyes of Mary Margaret, the voice of her friend soft when she said, "You are in love with him."

It hadn't been a question, and she probably shouldn't be surprised that she was an open book to her friends. After all they knew each other for ages, shared all their little secrets with each other. Of course they knew.

"Yes," Emma whispered, letting out a soft sigh as she shook her head. "And isn't that pathetic? Falling in love with your gay roommate?"

"Maybe he is bi after all?" Elsa said, and Emma just let out an exasperated huff.

"Please, you were all here when he said he isn't bi," Emma replied. "I'm just a complete fool."

"I'm sorry," Mary Margaret told her, squeezing her hand gently.

"Me too," Emma sighed.

"You need a good lay," Ruby chimed in, and Emma let out a strangled laugh.

"Maybe."

And because they all knew her so damn well, they dropped the subject completely – since there wasn't anything they could do about it other than distracting her – and talked about TV shows the next few hours, killing two more bottles of wine, and Emma was slightly buzzed when they all said good-bye. Mary Margaret hugged her tightly, and Ruby told her they needed to go out together soon.

"Just promise me you're not gonna stay at the lab all nights again," Elsa whispered into her ear as she hugged her.

Emma shot her a wobbly smile, and shook her head before closing the door behind her friends.

She knew she'd scared her friends the last time she'd buried herself in her research for months. It'd happened after her adoptive mother had died from breast cancer that had been diagnosed too late, and the grief had pulled her under, not even David had been able to help her.

The pain was still there, lingering inside of her. Ruth had died five years ago, but she still missed her deeply. It had been her diagnosis that had pushed Emma on her current career path. She was currently working on her PhD thesis, and was still hopeful that some day the modern medicine would be able to heal every sort of cancer. Her mother's disease might have pushed her towards medical research, but she loved her work; wouldn't want to work in any other field.

Leaning against the door, she let out a deep breath. If her mother would be still alive, she would tell her that she needed to get her head straight. Killian didn't want her in that way, and she needed to find a way to live with that.

-/-

"I'm a sodding fool," Killian said, after putting a bottle of beer in front of Robin.

"Well, I know that already," Robin replied, grinning broadly when Killian only scoffed. "Ever since you tried to fit the round cube into the square hole when you were two."

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

He knew Robin forever. They'd been neighbors through childhood and teen years, until they went to college, and then Robin fell in love with the daughter of an American entrepreneur, and four months later he'd emigrated to the United States for her, never regretting taking this drastic step.

Robin had been the one he'd called when he needed to get out of London; when he'd realized that his affair with Milah was toxic, and he needed to end it. He needed a fresh start, away from all the dark memories. Away from the place that reminded him so much of Liam.

God, he missed his brother. So much.

Shaking his head, she forced himself to stay in the present, and took a gulp of his beer before saying, "I didn't tell you until now, but David and I did come up with a plan. Me moving in here with his sister, so that he could stop worrying about her living in this slightly seedy part of town."

"Yeah, you told me about that."

"What I didn't tell you was … Emma wouldn't have agreed to a male roommate, so David suggested I should pretend to be gay."

"You what?" Robin smashed the bottle hard onto the table, staring at his friend incredulously. "Bloody hell, Killian. Are you insane?"

"I didn't even get to the fucked up part," Killian mumbled.

"And what would the fucked up part be?" Robin asked, cocking an eyebrow. "More fucked up than lying to Emma about something like that?"

"Yeah, I know lying to her wasn't the most gentlemanly way to go, but the worst part is …" Killian paused briefly, his fingers tightening around the bottle in his hand as he said softly, "I think I'm in love with her."

"Then tell her the truth, man," Robin replied firmly.

"Easier said than done. What if she throws me out, and never wants to see me again?"

"That'll probably happen."

"Well, that's encouraging."

"You'll just have to grovel and beg for her forgiveness in that case," Robin said, shrugging his shoulder. "Killian, if you truly love her, you can't lie to her anymore. You know that."

"Yeah, I know."

They were silent for a few minutes, just nursing their beers until they heard the door opening, and Emma walked into the living room a few moments later.

"Hey, there," Emma greeted them.

"Emma, this is Robin," Killian introduced when she slipped on the stool beside Robin. "An old friend from England. The one who helped me get the job here."

"Hey, Emma."

"Nice to meet you." Emma shook Robin's hand, and Killian could see the speculative gleam in her eyes as her gaze flicked from Robin to him, and he groaned inwardly, already knowing what she would say next. "So you two are … together?"

"Well, no ..."

"It's just casual. Nothing serious," Robin interrupted him, and Killian stared at his best friend with utter disbelief. "We are both just living in the moment."

"Ah, I see."

"I gotta go." Robin pushed himself up from his stool. "See you next week, Killian?"

He should have probably expected it when Robin sauntered up to him with a mischievous grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, but it still took him completely by surprise as Robin's hand cradled his cheek, and he leaned down to press his lips on his for a brief kiss.

He'd rendered him completely speechless, and he stared after his best friend as he walked out of the living room, almost jumping out of his skin when he felt Emma's hand on his shoulder.

"I like him," Emma said, shooting him a grin as she added, "You should hold on to that one."

His mouth dropped open when she walked out of the room, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket like in trance when it beeped, alerting him to a message.

_Couldn't resist._

Killian gritted his teeth as he read Robin's message, curling his other hand into a fist as he saw that Robin was typing another message.

_I'm looking forward to hearing how you're gonna dig your ass out of that hole._

His fingers tightened around his phone, the urge to throw it against the next wall almost overwhelming.

"Bloody fucking hell!"

-/-

The next few days after she'd seen Robin kiss Killian in the living room were extremely hectic, and she hardly found a moment to think about it - or her feelings for her gay roommate. When Tuesday came around she was utterly exhausted, and just wanted to fall into bed and sleep for twenty-four hours, but when she came home she found a very sick Killian on the couch, and a few minutes later she got reminded of how trying sick men could be.

According to him, he was only a few steps away from having to go to the hospital, because everything hurt, and Emma suppressed an exasperated eye roll as she trudged to the drawer with her meds in it, searching for NyQuil, checking the expiration date, happy that she didn't need to go to the pharmacy to purchase a new one.

"I need a night nurse," Killian whined.

"Yeah, right," Emma huffed, shaking her head as she walked back to him. "Preferably a male one in a naughty costume, I bet." She dropped onto the couch beside him, furrowing her brows when she saw his surprised expression. "What?"

"It's a medication," Killian croaked out, reminding Emma that he'd lived in England almost all his life, and that - of course - he would only know of English brand names, since he hadn't been living in the States for long.

"Oh, okay," Emma replied, feeling silly for jumping to conclusions. "I don't have it. But we'll get you into bed, and then you'll take NyQuil, and tomorrow DayQuil and some Emergen-C, and you'll be as good as new in two days."

"If you say so," he rasped, coughing harshly.

She helped him up from the couch, glad that he was already wearing sweat pants, and she didn't need to help him get into more comfortable clothes. They staggered to his room, and it took some time until he was settled comfortable in his bed.

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?" he asked, sounding so pathetic that she couldn't say no.

She motioned for him to scoot over, and he rested his head on her lap, sighing softly when she pressed her fingers against his temples, and rubbed softly. The furrow between his brow eased, and she felt him slacken against her. When she was sure he was fast asleep, she pulled out from under him carefully, laying his head on the pillow.

She stood by the side of his bed for some time, just watching him, a small smile playing over her lips as she lifted her hand, and brushed the sweaty hair back from his forehead.

She was hit hard by the realization that she wanted to be there for him whenever he was sick, that she couldn't imagine her life without him anymore. She almost ran out of his room, leaning against the wall beside his door.

It was past time to ask him if he'd already found a new home, before she would ruin the friendship they had by coming on to him, and losing him forever.

-/-

She groaned as she lowered herself into the hot water, closing her eyes for a few seconds as she felt her tense muscles relax. Killian was back to work, and she was feeling beyond exhausted, just happy that it was Friday and she had the weekend ahead of her. She definitely needed some down time to think about her disturbing feelings for her roommate, and to find the best solution to deal with it. But that had to wait until tomorrow. Right now she couldn't think straight, the exhaustion muddling her brain.

"Shit," she cursed silently as she looked through the bathroom, and realized that she'd forgotten her glass of wine in the kitchen. "Damn."

She just contemplated to stand up again to retrieve it, when she heard the keys in the door, and she waited until she heard him rummaging around in the living room before she called out for him, "Killian?"

"Aye?" came his voice through the door a few seconds later.

"I forgot my glass of wine on the kitchen counter. Can you go get it for me?"

There was a brief pause, and she already wanted to ask if he'd heard her, as his voice drifted through the door again. "Sure."

It didn't hit her until she heard him walking away from the door that it might not be very appropriate to ask her male roommate to bring her something while she was lying in the bath tub. But a quick look down assured her that she was well covered by the bubbles - not to mention that it wouldn't really matter if he saw her naked since he was gay - and she relaxed against the edge, closing her eyes.

She reluctantly opened her eyes again when she heard him enter the bathroom, taking the glass out of his hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Before she could say anything else he was gone again, and she sighed softly, calling herself a fool for hoping to see a flicker of arousal in his eyes when he saw her in the bath tub.

She needed to find herself a one-night stand. Maybe she was just sexually frustrated, and needed to have a good fuck without any strings attached. She needed to find a way to fall out of love with her gay roommate, and having sex with some strangers might be the first step to achieve that goal.

She would call Ruby when she got out of the bath, and ask her if she was free tomorrow night to go out for some men hunting, but right now she'd bury her nose in her book, and enjoy her glass of wine, and shove all dirty thoughts about her handsome roommate out of her mind for the time being.


	6. Chapter 6

**The cliffhanger wasn't planned. It just happened. I swear!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"This has to stop," Killian groaned, leaning his head against the closed bathroom door.

He couldn't breathe anymore; he'd been so close to yanking her out of that damn bubble bath, and kiss her senseless, because God … she was magnificent. Her blonde hair curling atop of her head, bundled up in a mess that looked as if it would fall apart any second, and then he'd seen the swell of her breasts, and actually nearly lost it right then and there. He'd feared he might come in his pants by only looking at her.

He pressed his hand against the door frame – hard – wishing he could just go back in there and confess to her how much he wanted her, how much she came to mean to him over the last weeks. But he was afraid - so afraid that she would throw him out and never talk to him again. And he didn't think he could live with that.

He reached into the pocket of his pants, fishing out his phone and scrolling to Robin's number. While hitting the dial button, he reached down to adjust his pants, releasing some of the pressure.

"What's up?"

"You owe me," Killian growled, ignoring his best friend's chuckle. "We are going out. Be ready in fifteen."

-/-

"You sure you wanna do this?" Robin asked him. "What about Emma?"

"What about her?"

"Mate!" Robin let out an exasperated sigh. "You wanna sleep with another woman, even though you're in love with Emma?"

"If you put it like this it sounds horrible, but ..." he trailed off, rubbing his hand over his face, letting out a long sigh before looking at his friend again. "She won't forgive me, Robin, when I tell her I lied to her all this time, and I … I don't want to lose her. If that means I have to keep up the charade to be friends with her … so be it."

He really wanted to go through with it, even found a woman who was more than willing to spend a night with him, a woman who was the complete opposite of Emma, in appearance and character, but in the end he couldn't do it.

"That was fast," Robin said, looking at him with an amused expression on his face. Robin hadn't even been able to pay his bill yet, before Killian had sauntered back to him in defeat.

"Maybe I should become gay after all," Killian said, slumping down on the bar stool beside Robin. "Kissing you wasn't  _that_ bad."

"I swear to God, if you don't stop spurting this nonsense right now, I'm gonna slap you into tomorrow." Robin told him. "How about you just man up already and tell Emma, and deal with the consequences, instead of being this pathetic moron?"

"I need another beer," Killian replied, waving his hand to get the attention of the barkeeper.

Robin was right; he couldn't keep doing what he was doing. It wasn't fair to Emma. At all. He needed to stop being a coward, and tell her.

-/-

Two days later Emma was sitting in a bar, being on a date with a guy named Walsh, trying to decide if she actually liked him or not. Somehow talking to him felt like she was cheating on Killian. What was totally ridiculous. As if she could cheat on her roommate, who didn't even know how she felt about him, and would only be embarrassed when she did tell him. She'd put him in an awkward position in which he needed to let her down gently, because he wasn't feeling the same way.

God, this whole going out with other men thing had been a bad idea, and she was glad when she could put an end to the evening. Unfortunately Walsh lived in the same direction, and it just seemed foolish to not share a cab, and of course Walsh turned out to be a gentleman and brought her to her door. Though he wasn't that much of a gentleman when he was trying to get a goodbye kiss from her.

She pushed him away and fumbled with her keys, praying she wouldn't drop them. Walsh came uncomfortably close again, and she didn't know how she should tell him to leave her alone without becoming rude.

"Walsh, it was a lovely evening," she said, pressing her hand against his chest to push him out of her personal space, but he completely ignored her attempts. "Good night."

She already contemplated if she needed to hit him between the legs to get rid of him when the door behind her opened, and she almost sighed in relief when she heard Killian's voice.

"Hey, mate. You heard the lady. Have a good night."

"Who is this?" Walsh asked acidly, still too close for Emma's comfort.

"My ..."

"Her boyfriend," Killian cut her off, and she almost suppressed a chuckle when she saw Walsh's face fell comically. "Now take a hike."

Walsh narrowed his eyes for a moment, probably assessing Killian. Fortunately he apparently didn't want to get into a fight, and turned around to stomp down the stairs again.

"Thank you," Emma said, turning around to face her roommate, letting out a groan when she saw Killian's attire. "Seriously?"

God, she wanted to hit him. He was standing before her clad only in boxer briefs and an open shirt, and no matter how often she'd already seen him trudging through the apartment half naked, the sight of his bare torso and muscled thighs never ceased to make her extremely horny.

"For better effect," he told her, shooting her a lopsided smirk that melted her insides. "Always glad to help out a damsel in distress."

"I'm  _not_ a damsel in distress."

"You aren't?"

She rolled her eyes at him, and then she smacked her hand against his chest, and a moment later she realized her mistake. She was standing too close to him, his chest hair was tickling her skin, and he smelled so good, and then she made another mistake and looked up into his too blue eyes, and actually lost her ability to breathe.

She was so close that she could even discern all the different shades of blue in his eyes, itched to skim her fingers over the stubble on his cheek, wondered how it might feel like when he scratched it along her thighs.

She wanted to look away, she wanted to move, but his gaze was holding hers and … was he leaning towards her? Was he going to kiss her?

She actually chuckled then, pushing herself away from him. As if he would kiss her. She was such a damn fool.

_He is gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! GAAAAYYYYY!_

"I'm gonna take a shower," she mumbled, storming towards the bathroom, wondering if she had a vibrator in the room somewhere, because if she couldn't have him she needed to release this pressure in another way.

-/-

His heart was hammering in his chest as he stared after her; the bulge in his boxer briefs was very prominent, but she hadn't seen it. She had just looked him in the eyes with this soft smile playing over her lips, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her, and then she walked to the bathroom in this ridiculously short dress, and he just wanted to drive into her and fuck her until she screamed his name.

That was it. He couldn't take it any longer. He needed to tell her. Right now.

With utter determination he walked towards the bathroom door and rapped his knuckles against it, not waiting for her answer before he entered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

He did have the words already on his tongue, but when he opened the door he forgot why he came in here in the first place.

She was holding her dress in one hand, looking at him with raised eyebrows, and he should probably say something, but he could just stare. She was practically naked; the strapless bra and the barely there panties not concealing much at all.

"What now?"

Her sharp voice pulled him out of his stupor, and he locked eyes with her, suddenly remembering why he'd stormed into the bathroom after her.

"We need to talk," he rushed out, before he would do something stupid, like closing the gap between them and pulling her into his arms to kiss her senseless.

"Now?" she asked him incredulously. "I need a shower."

"It's important," he replied, letting his gaze drift away, clenching his jaw as his body and mind battled for control. If he would stay one second longer in here, he couldn't be hold accountable for his actions.

"Fine," she huffed. "Give me a minute."

He almost lost his nerve while he was waiting for her to emerge out of the bathroom. He could always shoot her a quip, and deal with the rolling of her eyes and a smack against his chest while she was muttering some expletives under her breath. But then she came out of the bathroom, wearing a shirt of his and some skimpy shorts, and he knew he couldn't put it off any longer. He needed to tell her, and hope for the best.

"So what's the emergency?" she questioned, slumping down on the couch beside him.

"I ..." He looked at her, a sick feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. "I need a beer."

"I need one too," she murmured, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

He jumped up from the couch, rushing towards the fridge, almost dropping one bottle as he pulled two out. She opened her eyes again when he sat down beside her, taking the beer out of his hand. Averting his gaze to the ground, he fumbled with the label on the bottle, suddenly not sure how to begin.

"Hey." Her hand closed over his, worry in her eyes as he met her gaze. "What's wrong?"

"You're gonna hate me," he murmured, dreading so much to tell her, but knowing he had to. So he soldiered forward. "Before I tell you … you have to know that I'm well aware that this was wrong on so many levels, but … it wasn't supposed to happen like this."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your brother ask me to do it, and before you rip his head off just remember that he was only worried about you."

"What did you do?"

"I lied," he said, closing his eyes for a moment and gulping hard, his throat suddenly bone-dry, but he forced himself to push the words past the lump in his throat. "I lied about being gay."

-/-

The first thought popping into her head was  _Oh my God, thank you Jesus,_ but then the meaning of what he'd said really settled in, and a rush of fury swept over her.

"You did what?"

"I lied. David told me you were searching for a roommate, and he was worried about you living in this seedy neighborhood, and he asked me if I would move in with you, telling me you were just getting over a bad break-up and it would probably be better if I just told you I was gay and … it was a stupid idea in the first place. I know that, but … it was supposed to be only for a few months and I never thought … I didn't expect that … I'm sorry, Emma. So sorry. I shouldn't have lied. It's dreadful, and I can understand if you're mad at me now, but I just want you to know ..."

"Out!" she cried, her hand shaking as she pointed towards the door.

Emma was so angry with him right now that she was barely holding on to her control. She wanted to hit him, she wanted to punch him hard in the face.

"What?"

"Out!" She balled her hands into fists, gritting her teeth. If he wouldn't leave in the next second she would really hit him. "Just leave my apartment right now. Before I strangle you."

And thankfully he did, only disappearing in his room for a moment to get some pants and probably his phone and wallet before he left the apartment without saying another word.

And a part of her wished he hadn't just left without putting up a fight.

-/-

Killian leaned against the headboard of the motel room bed, his fingers closing around the bottle of scotch in his hand. His eyes flicked to the clock on the nightstand and a hollow chuckle slipped over his lips as he read the numbers. It was already half past midnight, and he lifted the bottle to his mouth, swallowing a huge gulp.

"Happy Birthday, moron."

It had been five days since Emma had thrown him out of her apartment, and after he'd typed a quick text to David to warn him of his sister's wrath that would certainly come his way, he'd shut his phone off and jumped on the next bus out of town, taking a room in the next motel he'd stumbled upon after emerging out of the bus, and crashing with enough alcohol to last him for at least three weeks.

He just needed to get away from everything.

He knew it was the coward's way out, he knew he should have stayed and fought for her. But her rejection and anger – even if it was well deserved – had broken something inside him. Somehow he had himself convinced that he finally caught a break, had foolishly believed lying to Emma wouldn't be as bad as it turned out to be.

Maybe it was pathetic of him to just run and drown his sorrows in alcohol, but he just couldn't deal with it in any other way right now. Thankfully he'd had the week off anyways, so he didn't need to worry about work. Not that he did give a flying fuck about it at the moment. His heart hurt, and this time it was his own damn fault. More than ever he wished that his brother was still alive, that he could call him and tell him everything, could hear his voice and get scolded by him for being such a bloody arse for lying to Emma, and how that was not how a gentleman treated a woman, that he raised him better than that. But Liam wasn't here anymore, and Killian closed his eyes, gulped hard to keep the tears from falling.

It was his 30th birthday today, and he felt like an old man; felt so tired of living. Maybe he should have just stayed in England, maybe coming here had been a huge mistake. Maybe a fresh start wasn't in the cards for him.

And wasn't he a really pathetic man for wallowing in self-pity like that.

He let out another harsh chuckle, and took another sip of the bottle, startling when the door to his room suddenly rattled as someone knocked against it. Who in the bloody hell was disturbing him now? He told the guy behind the counter he didn't want to be disturbed. But before he could bark at whoever was standing on the other side and tell them to leave him the bloody hell alone, a voice called from outside - a voice he didn't think he would ever hear again.

"Killian Jones, I know you're in there. Now open this damn door before I kick it in."


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the shortness! My muse is struggling a little lately.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Emma was sitting in her car, staring at the door of his motel room. Technically it wasn't really legal how she'd found out where he went, but Ruby's friend of a friend had pinged the GPS signal of Killian's phone, and now here she was, not sure if she should knock or not.

She'd been so mad, when he'd left their apartment, and the first thing she did was call David and yell at him for about thirty minutes, until she'd blown off enough steam to think straight again. Then she'd called Ruby and gone out with her the next evening, drinking herself into oblivion and dancing until her feet almost fell off. She'd still been fuming the day after that, but three days after Killian left she'd calmed down a little bit, and actually wanted to talk to him. Because she thought they'd become friends, and friends didn't lie to each other about something like that.

But … she couldn't get a hold of him.

Nobody knew where he was. Not David. Not Robin. And his phone went straight to voicemail. On the fourth day she actually started to worry about him. He didn't even talk to Robin, who had nothing to do with all this – what Robin explained to her when she called him the first time – and who'd been Killian's friend for a long time.

She drove herself insane with picturing what might have happened to him, and suddenly she just wanted to hear his voice to know he was okay, and then she would yell at him. On Friday she couldn't bear it any longer. Killian's birthday was the next day, and he was nowhere to be found. She would not let him spend his birthday alone, no matter how mad she still was with him.

Her eyes flickered to the clock, and she let out a sigh when she saw that it was already after midnight. She needed to knock. It was his freaking birthday. She would drag him out there, and probably needed to sober him up, so that he was fit for his birthday party tonight - the surprise party she'd organized before he'd dropped the bomb of not being gay on her.

"Okay, let's do this."

She opened the car door, and stepped out. Taking in a deep breath, she straightened and walked up to his door, lifted her hand and knocked.

"Killian Jones, I know you're in there," she shouted through the door, not willing to let him ignore her. "Now open this damn door before I kick it in."

Emma had already some harsh remarks on her tongue when he opened the door, but when she got the first look at him, everything she wanted to say flew out of her brain.

He looked terrible. Pale skin, bloodshot eyes, deep shadows under his eyes. His hair was standing up in all directions, and his hand was closed around a half empty bottle of scotch.

"That helps?" she asked, gesturing towards the bottle, letting her eyes roam through the room. It was littered with fast food containers, empty beer bottles and one empty bottle of scotch.

"Come on in, Swan," Killian drawled, waving with his free hand, staggering slightly. "Step into my palace."

"Killian, I ..."

"Yep, let's hear it." She startled when he slammed the door shut behind her, and she narrowed her eyes at him as he continued, "Tell me how despicable I am, how you can never trust me again, and how you wish you've never met me."

"You need to sober up first, I guess," she replied softly, knowing that she couldn't talk to him when he was drunk like that.

"So no scolding?" he asked, raising one eyebrow at her and shooting her a lopsided grin.

"No scolding. Not yet anyway," Emma told him, pulling the bottle out of his hand, and shoving him towards the bathroom. "Go take a shower. You stink."

"You gonna take the shower with me?" His eyebrows wiggled at her, and he almost crashed down on the bed when he stumbled into it.

"Don't push it, Jones." She rolled her eyes, pointing her finger at the bathroom door. "Go."

"As you wish, milady."

He almost ran into the doorpost, and she wondered for a moment if he was even capable of showering alone, but she was definitely not going in there with him. She heard him mutter some colorful curses, probably when he tried to shed his clothes without falling to the ground, and she started to collect the empty bottles on the table, and threw the garbage into the trash can, waiting for him to finish his shower.

He looked a little better when he came back into the room, and she pulled the comforter back, telling him to slip in. She almost expected him to make another lewd comment, but he just crawled into bed, and shifted until he could look up at her.

"Are you gonna stay?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"Yep, you're not gonna get rid of me that easily. I still need to shout at you."

"Aye, I guess you do," he replied, his eyes falling shut.

"Happy Birthday, Killian," she whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss on his cheek.

He didn't open his eyes again, only a smile ghosting over his lips, and then he was out cold, his breathing evening out.

She would go to the next pharmacy tomorrow and get some aspirin, because she was certain he would wake up with a splitting headache.

"You're a damn fool, Killian Jones."

She brushed the hair off his forehead, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. She would definitely have a word with him tomorrow, because she cared too much about him to let this lie stand between them. They needed to talk it out, and she hoped in the end they could stay friends. And maybe they could get completely past it, and even stay roommates.

She was deliberately ignoring the small voice in her head that was telling her that she wanted more from him than just being friends.

She would not go there. Definitely not.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

Killian woke up with a splitting headache, groaning loudly when he opened his eyes, and the light pierced his eyeballs with hot needles.

"Bloody hell." He closed his eyes again, burying his face in his hands, digging his thumbs into his temples to ease the pounding in his head.

"Morning, sunshine," a chipper voice reached his ears. "I would have gotten you a birthday cake, but I'm sure your stomach isn't up for sweets just yet, so I got you some aspirin and vitamins. Here you go."

Killian blinked at the glass Emma was holding towards him, and he swallowed another groan as he pulled himself up, reaching for the glass and pills. Slumping back into the pillows after he'd downed the water, he closed his eyes again, not able to handle the brightness of the room just yet - and maybe he could prolong the inevitable talk just a little longer, until he was feeling a little less under the weather.

The mattress suddenly dipped as she sat down beside him, and a moment later she asked softly, "Ready to talk?"

Apparently Emma wasn't granting him a reprieve, and he opened his eyes slowly, realizing that she had closed the curtains, and the room was now not bathed in light anymore, what made his headache kind of bearable, and he pushed himself up again, and leaned back against the headrest.

"Aye, I'm ready."

"Why the hell did you just up and leave?" she asked, watching him carefully as she waited for his answer.

"Aehm … because you told me to?" he replied, voicing it as a question, because he'd thought that was what she wanted - for him to leave her the hell alone - but clearly he must have misinterpreted her meaning somehow.

"I know you're not gay, so you might not understand women as well as I assumed," she told him, shifting on the bed to find a more comfortable position, her voice sounding slightly exasperated when she continues, "But you lived with me for long enough that you should know by now, that you can't take everything I say in anger at face value. Of course I was angry. You lied to me about something important. I think I had the right to be angry."

"Of course you had the right," he said, wanting to touch her but he wasn't sure how that would be perceived, so he suppressed the urge. "But you threw me out of the apartment, and I thought you never wanted to see me again."

"So you just crawled into this sorry excuse of a motel room, and tried to drink yourself into oblivion?"

"Something like that."

"Killian, we were worried. All of us. Robin, David … we didn't know where you were, and if you were okay." A flash of past worry flitted over her eyes, and he gritted his teeth, calling himself a fool. He shouldn't have dropped out like that. The urge to pull her into his arms just grew stronger as she knitted her eyebrows, her hand twitching as if she wanted to reach out to him, but then she drew back, and added with a slightly quavering voice, "At first I was still raving mad at you, but when no one could get a hold of you I feared something terrible happened to you, and no matter how angry I am at you, I still care about you."

"I'm sorry I was the cause of your worries." He couldn't hold himself back any longer, and leaned forward to brush his fingers over the back of her hand. "I'm truly sorry, Emma."

"I know."

Her hand turned, and her fingers intertwined with his for a brief moment before she dropped his hand. His fingers were still tingling from the touch, and he balled his hand into a fist, hoping he could hold on to the sensations for a few moments.

"Let me ask you one thing." She was eyeing him with scrutiny now, her eyes boring into his as if she wanted to read his mind. It was an eerie thought, and he gulped hard, wondering what she would say next. Her voice grew soft when she started to speak again, "Why did you tell me the truth? Why didn't you just leave the apartment? You could have just walked away without ever telling me. Why didn't you?"

"Because I ..." He snapped his mouth shut, his heart slamming into his throat as he realized what he almost said out loud. His brain must still not work properly, because he almost told her he loved her, and that was definitely not something you just blurted out like that out of the blue. Licking his lips, he opted for the much safer option and said, "I care about you, Emma. And I didn't want to lie to you anymore. You have the right to know the truth. I'm sorry for deceiving you in the first place."

"Apology accepted. But we still have a tiny problem here." Her mouth curled up into a smirk, making his heart skip a beat. "I still need a roommate, and I actually like the one I had. So … how about you're coming back?"

"You want me back in the apartment?" he asked, her offer completely taking him by surprise.

"Yes, it's the best way to make you grovel," she replied, her smirk blooming into a full grin now.

"Make me grovel?"

"Aye," she said, grinning from ear to ear when he chuckled. She was just so damn cute when she tried to imitate his accent. "You didn't think I'd just forgive you so easily, did you?"

"Of course not," he replied, feeling a smile tug at the corner of his mouth as he saw the glint of mischief in her eyes. He would so gonna pay for lying to her, and it probably made him a masochist that he was actually looking forward to it. "So what's my penance?"

"A lot of cooking. That's for sure. Bathroom duty for at least six weeks." She laughed out loud when he plopped back into the pillows and groaned, the laughter still lingering in her voice as she continued, "And foot massages whenever the need arises."

"That's all?" he asked, looking up at her with a cocked eyebrow.

"I'm sure I can come up with a few more things. Just give me a few days," she shot back, standing up from the bed and walking towards the table on which she'd dumped the bag from the pharmacy.

"Emma?" he called after her, waiting for her to turn back to him before speaking again, "Thank you. Thank you for coming to find me."

"You're welcome." She shot him another smile, pointing towards the door. "Let's get you home. There is a party happening tonight, and we can't party without the guest of honor, can we?"

-/-

"So ... Killian is staying?" Ruby asked, leaning against the counter beside her.

"Of course," Emma replied, taking a pull from the bottle of beer in her hand. "He is living here."

"How exactly do you think this could work?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know with the whole 'You're in love with him' situation?"

"I'm not ..."

"Don't say it," Ruby told her firmly, shaking her head. "Don't even try to deny it. We all know it's true."

"Fine," Emma grumbled, letting her eyes roam over the room until she found him standing beside Robin.

"How about telling him that you've feelings for him?" Ruby questioned softly so that no one else could overhear them. "He is not gay after all. So why don't you give it a shot?"

"I'm ..." Emma trailed off, her fingers tightening around the bottle of beer, her heart slamming against her ribcage when Killian looked up and met her gaze, his mouth curling up into a lopsided smirk that made her knees all weak. Living with him might be a tougher challenge than she'd assumed, and she took in a deep breath, facing Ruby again, suddenly realizing what was the real problem here. "I'm scared. What if he doesn't feel the same way, and it's gonna be extremely awkward afterwards, and I'm losing the great friendship we have?"

"Friendship is gonna be enough for you though?"

"It has to." Emma's gaze flitted back to Killian, her heart skipping another beat when she saw him smiling at something Robin had said. "I don't wanna lose him."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9**

Emma did milk it for all it was worth. Killian felt guilty about lying to her, and it seemed he really wanted to do some penance. She definitely wouldn't complain about all the great stuff he was doing for her. Foot rubs every evening, a single fresh flower waiting for her every morning with her breakfast, the bathroom hadn't been this clean since she moved in, and he was pampering her all around.

Most of the times she just enjoyed being cared for like that, but there were those brief moments were she caught him staring at her with an expression on his face that sent shivers down her spine. Despite those moments, they fell into a routine, everything seemed like it was before he told her the truth – but something was different. Something she couldn't put her finger on.

She couldn't give it much thought though, the experiments she was conducting for her thesis didn't show the results she was hoping for, and she was getting frustrated. It was the last batch of experiments she needed to round up her thesis, and she was more than ready to be done with it.

Emma just didn't have the time to think about the muddled situation with her handsome roommate.

-/-

Killian was back to relieving the pressure behind closed doors, moaning her name into the darkness when he spilled his release all over his hand and stomach. Maybe he shouldn't give her a foot rub every evening. She hadn't asked for one every night, but somehow it just happened, and it almost always ended with Emma falling asleep on his shoulder later, her hand always coming to rest on his thigh, and making him stir in his pants.

He was still trying to conjure up the courage to finally tell her how he felt about her, but whenever he was close to telling her - in those moments were they just stared at each other for a few seconds, the tension rising to an almost unbearable level – she made a joke, and the perfect moment was gone.

He was a coward. A fucking, sodding coward.

-/-

"Thank freaking God," Emma sighed, slumping down onto the couch, grinning up at Elsa as her friend put the ice cold strawberry Margarita in her hand. "Let's party."

It had been some exhausting weeks - late nights in the lab, hardly any sleep. But she finally had the results she was looking for, and that was enough reason to have an impromptu celebration.

When Killian came home two hours later Emma was definitely more than tipsy, and she ignored his surprised yelp when she grabbed his arm and hauled him into the living room without even letting him change into more comfortable clothes.

"Come on, Jones. Dance with me."

-/-

It was pure torture. To be so close to her, to feel her body sway against him, feel her leaning into him for support when she slurped on her cocktail, her eyes shining with happiness, slightly hooded due to the alcohol.

Killian had finally managed to slip into his room to cool off a little, and get a grip on himself again. He was hard as a rock since Emma had swayed her ass back and forth over his midsection, and he'd retreated hastily before she and everyone else in the room could see the clear evidence of his arousal.

It couldn't go on like this any longer; he needed to tell her. Before he would lose all common sense, and go all cave man on her.

When he came back to the living room Emma was nowhere to be found, and he already started to worry, when he suddenly thought of her favorite part of the building.

Like he hoped Killian found her up on the rooftop, and she gave him a sloppy smile when he sat down beside her, his heart almost leaping out of his throat as she leaned against him, her hair tickling his chin, his body going rigid as she grabbed his arm and lifted it over her shoulder, her arms slipping around his waist to get even closer to him.

"Why can't all men be like you, Killian?" she sighed against his skin, and he wondered if she could hear his heart hammering like a sledgehammer in his chest.

_Stay cool, Jones. Stay cool._

"Because the female part of the population wouldn't survive more than one me?"

She smacked her hand against his stomach, her voice slightly slurred as she mumbled, "You're so full of yourself."

Silence fell over them, and he tightened his hand around her shoulder, closing his eyes for a second, reveling in the feeling of having her in his arms like that. It didn't happen often that she let her guard down like that. Most of the times she only touched him in teasing, and not full body contact like this.

"What kind of foolish woman let you get away?" He started upon hearing the question; he'd assumed Emma might have fallen asleep in his arms, but apparently she didn't. Leaning back, her hand drifted up to his face, her fingers ghosting over his scruff as she stared up at him with sleepy eyes. She was clearly inebriated, but his heart still skipped a beat when her fingers skimmed over his lips. "Foolish, foolish woman."

He hadn't told her much about Milah, almost nothing. Because it was in the past, and he wanted it to stay in the past.

"Not everyone appreciates the kind of man I am," he said softly as she snuggled back into him. "A lot of women only want me for my body, and then there are those who take advantage of the fact that I have a too soft heart when it comes to women."

"Like I said they are all fools. Though it can't be denied that you have a gorgeous body," Emma breathed, her hand trailing up his arm, and down over his chest, coming to rest against his abs. "But what's inside is way more gorgeous."

He couldn't speak, was too stunned to say anything at all, telling himself over and over again that she was drunk and didn't know what she was saying.

He almost chuckled when he felt her slacken against him. She'd fallen asleep, and he shifted carefully until he was able to scoop her up in his arms and carry her down to their apartment. The others had all left already, the apartment was silent when he entered, and he walked slowly to Emma's bedroom, lying her down gently on the mattress, reaching down to slip the shoes of her feet and pull the sheet over her body, keeping himself from leaning down to brush a kiss on her forehead. Instead he just trailed his fingers over her hair before he walked out of the room.

"Killian?" Her voice drifted towards him, and he turned around, hardly making her out in the darkness.

"Aye?"

"Just so you know … I love you. Every part of you."

He was rooted to the spot, his fingers clinging to the door handle. What should he answer? What could he answer? But before he could make up his mind he could hear a soft snore from the bed, and his mouth tilted up into a smile.

She probably wouldn't remember what she said tomorrow. She probably didn't mean it in a romantic way anyhow.

-/-

Emma woke up with a splitting headache, thankful for the glass of water and aspirin she found on her nightstand. She even managed a shaky smile when she thought about her perfect roommate, the smile dropping off her face when memories of the last night came back to her.

"Oh God, I did not tell him that I love him."

She would never drink one drop of alcohol ever again.

Emma contemplated if she could stay in her room until Killian was gone, but then she remembered that it was Saturday, and he didn't have to go to work. With a groan she climbed out of the bed and changed clothes. After a short trip to the bathroom she walked into the kitchen, trying to avoid direct eye contact as she slipped on the bar stool.

"Morning," she mumbled, putting her head into her hand because it was way too heavy to stay on her shoulders otherwise.

"Morning, love."

He was way too upbeat for her taste, and she threw him a look out of the corner of her eye as he shuffled through the kitchen.

"Did I do something embarrassing yesterday? The last hours are kind of a blur," Emma asked, deciding it was time to face the music. She cringed slightly when Killian turned around with a huge grin on his face. Letting out a groan, she waved her hand to indicate he should give it to her. "Just tell me, Jones. I can take it."

"Nothing too embarrassing, Swan," he replied, the smirk still on his face as he added, "Just some cute rambling on the rooftop before you conked out, and I had to carry you down."

So she didn't tell him she loved him after all. He would mention it if she did, wouldn't he?

"Thanks for bringing me to bed, and for the aspirin," she murmured, averting her gaze down to the counter.

"You're very welcome." A plate appeared in front of her. "Here … eat this. It will help with the hangover."

As she stared down at the plate she asked herself if it was a good thing that she apparently didn't tell him she loved him, or if it wouldn't have been better if she actually had.

Because then the secret would be finally in the open, and she could stop pretending that she had nothing more than brotherly feelings for him.

-/-

Killian was halfway through repainting the walls in Emma's bedroom when he heard her clear her throat, and he gritted his teeth, awaiting the inevitable.

"Maybe we should paint it in a brighter yellow. I think this shade is too dark."

He let out a huge sigh, tilting his head to stare down at her from the ladder, paint dripping down from the paint roller onto the newspaper covering the floor. She was smiling up at him, clearly trying to coax him into painting the room fresh for the third time. Killian was a very patient man, but even he had his limits.

Lifting the paint roller, he started painting again, determined to paint the room in the darker shade of yellow she'd wanted only three hours ago, grumbling more to himself than to her, "If I didn't love you so much, I'd be strangling you right now."

He didn't even realize what he said until he saw her stiffen out of the corner of his eye, his heart thumping hard against his ribcage as he cursed silently. That was not the way he wanted to tell her.

"What did you just say?" she croaked, her eyes huge when he turned around to look at her.

For a split second he contemplated to lie to her, to put it off as a joke. But then he remembered her drunken confession a week ago, and just threw caution to the wind.

Either she really did feel the same way, or she didn't. It was time to find out.


	11. Chapter 11

**This is the chapter a lot of you have been waiting for. I hope it lives up to your expectations. :-)**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Emma knew she shouldn't take her bad mood out on him, but he  _was_  the problem after all. He and his lopsided grin, and his too blue eyes, and his lilting voice, and she loved him and was too much of a chicken to tell him, and …

"If I didn't love you so much, I'd be strangling you right now."

Her brain needed a few seconds to process his words, but the moment her mind caught up to her ears, her heart plummeted into her stomach. Did she already start having hallucinations? Was this all a dream? He didn't just say what she thought he said, did he?

"What did you just say?" she asked, her voice almost collapsing over the last word.

Killian was silent for a few moments that felt like hours before he turned around with a determined expression on his face. One of his eyebrows shot up, his eyes holding hers with an intensity that made her knees all wobbly.

"You heard me," he said softly, the words barely audible, but her heart reacted as if he'd shouted them from the rooftop for all the world to hear.

She gulped hard, hoping her legs would not give out under her, and her voice was quivering when she pushed words past the lump in her throat, "Yeah, but did you mean it?"

Killian didn't even hesitate one second, his reply coming out with utmost confidence, "Every word of it."

Emma had no idea how she was able to keep standing, her whole body felt kind of numb right now, the only thing that was still working were apparently her vocal cords.

"Would you please come down here?" She bit down on her tongue, the time he needed to climb down the ladder, and let the paint roller drop into the bucket, felt way too long, and then he was standing in front of her, so close that she only needed to twitch her fingers to brush against his hand. He was staring down at her, not saying anything, and his scent enveloped her – his cologne mingled with male sweat, something that made her knees even weaker – and his eyes seemed to be even bluer that close, and her throat felt twice its size, her heart was hammering in her chest, and the bastard still hadn't made a sound, and now she had to say something and all that came out was, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

His fingers suddenly brushed the back of her hand as he shifted, and his touch felt like she'd just touched a live wire, making her tingle all over, his voice was soft and low when he finally spoke, "You feel the same?"

Of course she did. How could he not have seen it? But she hadn't seen it either; she hadn't thought he felt the same way. He couldn't read her mind after all, could he? With a start she realized that he was still waiting for her answer, and she breathed, "Yes." A gulp, and then she let her fingers skim against his. "Yes, I do."

Pregnant silence filled the room, his body almost touching hers, and her eyes flicked down to his lips and back up to his eyes, the tension between them so thick that she could hardly breathe. She didn't know who moved first, but one moment they were still staring at each other, and the next her mouth was on his, and she was  _finally_  kissing him.

It started slow, as if they were both afraid what would happen next, but then the kiss suddenly changed, becoming more passionate. His fingers tugged at her hair, and she felt it slither down her back, and then he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. Her hands slipped under his shirt, and then lower, her fingers sliding into his back pockets and grabbing his ass through the denim. She wanted to touch him everywhere, wanted to dig her nails into his skin, wanted to cup his face. But he was holding her so close that she couldn't move an inch.

They stumbled against the paint bucket, Emma heard paint sloshing out onto the newspaper-covered floor, but couldn't care less, and then she was pressed against the wall, feeling the damp paint soaking through her shirt, but all she could do was fisting one hand around his shirt, and wrapping her other hand around his neck in fear he might change his mind again, and stop kissing her.

It turned out her fear was completely unnecessary, because Killian didn't show the slightest inclination of stopping any time soon. He practically devoured her mouth, her head hitting the wall with a loud thump when his kiss turned even more aggressive. Her leg wandered up his thigh without her permission, lust overpowering her brain, and a moan slipped out of her mouth when his rock hard erection grinded against her core.

God, she would combust any second now. If he didn't stop she would come by only dry-humping his thigh. Not that she would complain about it. But before she came close he suddenly stopped, and an embarrassing whine came out of her mouth.

"Bloody hell," Killian rasped against her lips, their ragged breaths sounding extremely loud in the room.

"Fuck yeah," Emma replied, still feeling slightly breathless, her mind still reeling, trying to process what had just happened.

He chuckled softly, drawing back a little to look down at her. His thumb ghosted over her cheek, and she shuddered, suddenly feeling kind of overwhelmed by the whole situation. This was going down a little too fast for her. She pulled away from him, his hands dropping down when she stepped back, his brows furrowing in concern as he watched her.

"Something wrong, Swan?"

"No, but … maybe we should take a step back and … I don't know … cool down a little. Sleep over it. You know … do the sensible thing?"

Emma shrugged her shoulders, feeling completely self-conscious all of a sudden. This was huge. They kissed. Totally out of the blue. They should not rush into it, they should act like the adults they were, and not act on the hormones that were rushing through their bodies right now. Right?

"Aye, we shouldn't rush anything," Killian replied, literally taking a step back, shoving his hands in his back pockets, making her wish it were her hands feeling him up again.

"Exactly," Emma said, trying to ignore the voice in her head that was telling her to stop being a fool and jump him already. "I'm gonna take a shower to get the paint off."

-/-

He had finally told her, and she said it back, didn't she? She did say she felt the same way, so … why was he standing under a cold shower now? Why wasn't he in bed with Emma?

"Because you agreed on not rushing into it, you moron?" he mumbled under his breath.

For a brief moment Killian contemplated to take himself in hand to take the edge off, but somehow he didn't want to come like this anymore. The next time he wanted to be inside her. He was a bloody adult, and not a teenager with raging hormones he couldn't control. He could wait until she was ready. Until they were ready.

Shouldn't be so hard, should it?

He just had to take a lot of cold showers – it was kind of a routine by now - and live with the fact that he would probably run around with a constant semi-hard cock until Emma would finally put him out of his misery.

That was all.

-/-

Maybe she should have gone to bed after her shower; she knew she was playing with fire here, knew where this would probably end. The problem was, she wanted him too much, and she just couldn't go to bed alone tonight. So she leaned against the wall, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom.

Emma let out a soft sigh when he stepped out with only a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still wet, droplets of water still glinting on his skin.

"Damn," she murmured, digging her teeth into her bottom lip as she stared at him.

"What are you doing here, Emma?"

His voice was soft and raspy, sending shivers down her spine. He leaned against the doorframe, folding his arms over his chest, and her eyes dropped to his midsection, her fingers itching to pull at the towel. When her eyes snapped back to his face, one of his eyebrow rose as he threw her a challenging look. He knew damn well why she waited for him to emerge out of the shower, but the bastard wanted her to spell it out. Damn him.

"You know what I'm doing here."

"I do?"

"You're a bastard," she hissed. "You know that, right?"

His mouth curled up into a smug grin, and she promised herself that she would wipe it off his face in a few seconds. "I don't know what your problem is, love."

"You know what?" She let her fingers slip under her sweat pants, fondling herself, and the cocky grin dropped off his face as his eyes snapped to her hand. "I had changed my mind. I thought we could skip all the normal rules - like no sex before the third date, since we already know each other for a while, but ..." she trailed off, but Killian didn't look up, his eyes glued to the movement of her hand, and she felt herself getting wetter and wetter as she rubbed softly over her clit, a silent moan slipping out of her mouth.

"But?" he asked, his voice was harsh with restrained passion, his eyes were on fire as he locked his gaze with hers.

"I can always take care of it myself," she replied, her finger slowing against her clit. "My BOF was good enough over the last few weeks. I can endure it for a little while longer. No biggie."

Emma pulled her hand out of her pants, grinning broadly when she turned around and walked to their guest room, her sleeping quarters for the night until the paint fumes vanished out of her bedroom. It didn't take him more than a few seconds, before his hands closed around her arms and she was pressed against the wall again.

"No, you don't need your vibrator tonight," he growled into her ear, the evidence of his arousal pressing into her ass.

He'd apparently lost his towel during his pursuit, the thin fabric of her pants not lessening the impact of his naked flesh against her at all. Her vibrator would have definitely been a sorry substitute for this. Not that she would tell him that right now.

"Don't I?" she whispered, suppressing a moan when his teeth closed around her ear lobe.

"I think I can offer something way more satisfying."

"I see," she drawled, wiggling her ass against him, a jolt of liquid heat rushing between her legs, making her core throb with need.

"You're going to be the death of me one day, Swan."

"But not today, Jones," Emma said, turning around in his arms to face him. "I have use for you tonight."

"You little minx," he groaned, crushing his mouth on hers and kissing her almost senseless before he pulled back and barked, "Get into my room, so that I can ravish you properly."

"Ravish me? You a pirate now?" she joked, her fingers curling around his necklace, as if she feared he would flee when she let go of him.

"I've waited too long, Emma." The tone of his voice changed completely, from playful to almost painful, his eyes starting a blazing fire deep in her stomach, his next words making the ache between her legs even worse. "I don't think I can be gentle the first time."

"I don't want you to."

Everything was a blur afterwards as they stumbled to his room, leaving a trail of her clothes behind. She was completely naked when they reached his bed, his hands cupping her breasts and kneading them gently, his fingers closing around her nipples, tugging softly, making them hard and desperate for his mouth.

He stopped torturing her a moment later, pushing her down on the mattress and kissing a path down her neck and chest, until he finally reached where she was aching for him, and she couldn't keep herself from mewling when he closed his lips around one straining peak.

"God, Killian," she whimpered, arching her back and pressing his head even closer to her body. "More. I need more."

His teeth scraped over her nipple, then she felt a sharp pain when his teeth closed around it, his tongue flicking against her, and then he sucked hard, and she almost came from that alone. But then he stopped suddenly, skimming his lips lower and lower. Butterfly kisses against her stomach, open-mouthed kisses along her hip bone, getting closer and closer to where she needed him most.

Emma was already wet enough for him, but he was a gentleman after all, and maybe he wasn't sure he could last long enough. Before she could protest and pull him up again, he was lying down between her legs, pressing her knees outward and up, and he started to nibble his way from her knee down her thigh, his scruff leaving a prickling path of heat behind. It probably should feel uncomfortable, him going down on her. But before she could think too much about it, he slipped two fingers into her, and curled them just right, pushing every coherent thought out of her brain, her mind only able to concentrate on all the sensations he was eliciting in her.

She came with a shout, her legs were trembling, her stomach quivered. She was panting, staring up at the ceiling, trying to catch her breath. She heard the faint sound of a plastic foil being ripped open through the rush of the blood in her ears, and then he was back between her legs.

"I need to be inside you, Emma," he whispered, nudging her entrance with his cock. "So much."

"Then take me, Killian."

He was thick and long, her walls needing to adjust to him as he pushed into her. She felt him trembling under her fingers; he was apparently holding himself in check to not hurt her. He probably wanted to thrust into her with one stroke, so she opened her legs wider to make it easier for him to slide all in, both of them groaning as he finally bottomed out.

"Jesus."

"God."

He paused deep inside of her, his head falling to her shoulder, his breath coming out in sharp pants. Emma let her fingers ghost over his back, a shiver running through him and then she grabbed his ass, and he jerked against her, growling low in his throat before starting to move again.

His strokes were slow and soft first, making her toes curl against the sheet, her hips arching up to meet him thrust for thrust. But she needed more, her whole body aching for release, and she dug her nails into his skin, urging him on, mumbling 'Faster' and 'Harder' into his ear.

He followed her whispered commands, his hips pumping against her ass, his thrusts coming hard and fast now. He did make her come once already, and she really didn't need to come again, but she wanted to. Wanted to squeeze his cock, milk him dry.

As if he could read her mind, Killian leaned back, reaching with one hand between their bodies, his finger finding her clit. His thrusts weren't that deep now anymore, but they were still deep enough, and her breath hitched in her throat, her walls convulsing around him as she came, her name tumbling from his lips when he followed her a few thrusts later.

Emma was lying under him, totally depleted, his weight was crushing her, his body was slick with sweat, so was hers, and all she could think was … men who knew what they were doing were so much more fun in bed.

She didn't really know how much time passed before Killian rolled down from her; she was still basking in the afterglow of her two orgasms. Pulling down the condom, he knotted it and just threw it away, obviously not caring where it landed. It wasn't her room, so Emma didn't mind – after all she didn't have to clean it up in the morning. Rolling onto her side, she snuggled against him, his arm coming to rest on her hip, his fingers starting to draw lazy circles on her skin.

"Why the bloody hell did we wait so long?" Killian suddenly asked.

"No idea," Emma replied, pushing herself up, pressing her hand flat on his chest as she grinned down at him. "But if you think we're finished for the night, you're dead wrong."

"You didn't believe I'd be satisfied with having you only one time, did you?"

Emma had to admit the fear had crossed her mind for just a moment, but the way he looked at her now made it disappear in an instant, and she lifted her hand, patting his cheek in a patronizing way. She just couldn't resist.

"Let's just give the old man some R&R, shall we?"

"Old man, huh," he replied, cocking one eyebrow again – it was one of his mannerisms she found extremely sexy - his voice turning into a drawl, "I'll show you what this old man can do to you to pass the time."

When they fell asleep dawn was breaking, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and sizzling bacon waking her around noon. She was smiling like a lunatic when she slipped into fresh underwear and her discarded clothes from the night before, only rushing to the bathroom for a quick stop before joining Killian in the kitchen.

She could definitely get used to this. A night of amazing sex, followed by a hearty breakfast to 'replenish the spent resources'. And she could definitely get used to the dazzling smile that was greeting her, and the thorough good morning kiss that he planted upon her.

It definitely made it a lot easier to get out of bed in the morning if this awaited her.


	12. Chapter 12

**My muse has declared she feels the need to write some fluff to round up this story, so you get one chapter full of fluff before the epilogue. You've been warned. It gets cheesy. :-)**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

"So you two are together now?" David asked, raising his eyebrows as he watched Killian disappear around the corner to the restrooms.

"Don't look at me like that," Emma replied, rolling her eyes as she saw the expression on her brother's face.

"How do I look at you?" he asked, trying to look completely innocent, but failing miserably.

"As if you're about to give Killian and me a big brother speech," Emma declared, holding up her hand to stop him when he opened his mouth. "Save it. He is your friend. You like him. I like him. Besides, you don't have the right to say anything against it. You came up with the whole gay scheme in the first place. You are kind of the reason we're together now."

"So it's all my fault?"

"Yep," Emma said, shooting him a grin, the smile softening when she realized without her brother she might have never met Killian. "Thank you, big brother. I … thank you for bringing him in my life."

"You're happy?" David questioned, reaching for her hand over the table.

"Very," she replied, suddenly feeling a lump form in her throat as she squeezed David's fingers.

"But I can still threaten to punch him if he ever hurts you, can't I?"

Emma chuckled, glad her brother had pulled her out of this sappy mood, and she winked at him as she said, "That's what big brothers do, right?"

-/-

"You freaking always put your cup of coffee in the sink instead of the dishwasher. It's driving me nuts."

"God, you're such a woman sometimes, Killian," Emma snapped, throwing the dish towel with some force onto the counter. What was the big deal? She did put water in it, so that the coffee stains wouldn't dry, did she not?

"Exactly," Killian snapped back, towering in front of her. "You are supposed to be the sex who is putting the dishes immediately in the dishwasher, and  _not_  in the sink."

"You know what? I'm not in the mood to fight over this." She reached up and rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on.

"Ah, it's your time of the month," he said, clear sarcasm in his voice.

"You did not just say that," Emma replied, gritting her teeth as she stared at him. She couldn't believe him. He did not just put all the blame on her period, which she didn't even have yet.

"What?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders. "You're always this prickly when you have your period."

She almost exploded then, but had the mind to just turn around and walk away, slamming the door of her room shut behind her and slumping down on the bed. Screw the 'never go angry to bed' mantra. She couldn't talk to him right now.

When Emma woke up the next morning she found a breakfast tray before her door with all her favorite breakfast snacks on it, a single white lily laying between the cup of coffee and the plate, and a 'I'm sorry' scrawled on her pancake with chocolate sauce.

She might have made it a little too easy for him when she greeted him at night by jumping on him, but it had been their first real fight as a couple, and she had to say … make-up sex had definitely its perks.

-/-

Killian went all out on her birthday, serving her dinner on the roof, the food from her favorite Italian place; her birthday present a weekend in the mountains where he would pamper her as much as possible.

Emma was happy; so happy that she thought she might burst any moment, and all this happiness needed an outlet. So it was not really her fault when she pushed him against the wall, and kissed him senseless.

"Someone could come up here any time," Killian murmured against her lips as her fingers fumbled with the zipper of his pants.

"That's the fun of it, Jones," she replied, letting out a sigh when she slipped one hand in his boxer briefs, and wrapped her fingers around his already very prominent arousal. "The fear of getting caught in the middle of the act."

"I told you," he growled, pulling her hand out of his pants and whirling her around so that she was facing the wall, "One day you're gonna be the death of me."

Her skirt was flipped up, and his fingers shoved her panties away, and then he plunged into her with one deep thrust, fucking her hard and fast until they both tumbled over the edge.

Emma was still glowing when they made their way back down to their apartment, and Killian made sure that she didn't really come down from the high the whole night.

-/-

They did not fight often, most of the times they were eerily happy, and there were those moments when she wondered if this might all be too good to be true, and would crash around her at some point. But then Killian would look at her, as if he sensed she was slipping into a pensive mood, and smile at her, wrap his arm around her or link their fingers together, and she just knew he was in this for the long haul.

-/-

At Halloween he dressed up as a pirate, making her laugh when she saw his costume for the first time. He kept whispering dirty innuendos in her ear the whole night, and it was his fault that she ruined his pirate shirt the moment they stepped back into their apartment. After all he'd been the one who'd riled her up to the point where she needed to rip his shirt apart, and jump him right there in the hallway.

She did have carpet burns on her knees for over two weeks.

-/-

Sometimes she felt as if they were in some cheesy chick flick, everything was just perfect. Like when they hosted Thanksgiving dinner for their friends; it was a rambunctious affair with a lot of laughter, and when all their guests had left Killian didn't even let her clean up before he pulled her into her room and pushed her on the bed to have his wicked ways with her.

-/-

When Christmas came around she'd actually stopped fearing that he might ever fall out of love with her. Being together with him, really together, for a little over three months made her realize that this might be it.

Their happily ever after.

She had to gulp down tears as he appeared in the doorway on Christmas morning, hair disheveled, eyes still clouded with sleep, with a lopsided smirk on his face, asking her if Santa made it down the chimney all right. He did light up like a kid when he saw the presents under the tree, and ripped them open as if he couldn't wait to see what he got.

She'd never loved him more than in that moment.

-/-

It was maybe half an hour before midnight, and Emma was standing on the rooftop, wanting to have a few minutes for herself, to reflect on the last year. She got her PhD, a job at the research facility she dreamed of working for, and most important of all … Killian came into her life.

A goofy grin pulled her lips up as she thought of her boyfriend, and how they met. It was a great story to tell their children sometime. Emma stiffened when she realized what she'd just been thinking about. Their children. Somehow the thought didn't frighten her, an image of a dark haired boy with blue eyes popping up in her brain, and suddenly she felt a slight twinge of longing in the pit of her stomach.

She wanted that one day. She wanted to start a family with Killian.

She was staring out into the night, snow flakes starting to fall down from the sky as she heard someone open the door, and a moment later his voice reached her ears, "Here you are."

"Yep, here I am," she said, turning around to him.

"Everything alright?" he asked as he stepped closer, worry putting a frown between his brows.

"Just thinking how happy I am to have you in my life," she assured him, giving him a soft smile.

His arms came around her, and he pulled her close against his body, his lips brushing over her forehead when he whispered, "I'm the happy one."

They were still wrapped up in each other when their friends and the other tenants stormed on the rooftop to enjoy the fireworks. All around them people were counting down the seconds, and Emma leaned back in Killian's arms, keeping her gaze locked on his as the fireworks started all around them.

"Happy New Year," she breathed, feeling tears well up in her eyes as she stepped up on her tiptoes, and pressed her lips against his.

"Happy New Year, love," he murmured back, his arms tightening around her. "May this year be even better than the last."

"It'll be hard to top the last year." Her hands cupped his face, pulling him down so that she could give him a proper New Year's kiss. "I love you, Killian Jones."

"And I love you, Emma Swan."

They were lying in each other's arms this night, his fingers drawing patterns on her back, her head resting on his chest. Emma was exited for this new year, excited to spend the rest of her life with the man lying in bed with her, and when she dropped off to sleep to the sound of his heart beating in her ear, a smile still lingered on her lips.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you all so much for your comments, kudos and bookmarks. I can never tell you enough how much that means to me. Thank you!**

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**Epilogue**

Emma was nervous, pacing back and forth on the roof as she waited for Killian to join her. Her fingers curled around the stick in the pocket of her jacket as she wondered for the umpteenth time if he would be happy, or if it would freak him out.

They did talk about it, of course they had. You weren't in a relationship for over three years without discussing the subject of kids at some point. But it had never been something concrete, just that they both wanted kids sometime in the future.

Well, this future was here now.

Emma knew Killian loved her, but she was still afraid that being pregnant would change something in their relationship, and she wasn't sure they were ready to take that next step.

"It looks like it might snow."

She whipped around, her heart leaping into her throat as she watched him come closer. The collar of his jacket was turned up, a scarf wound around his neck, and a beanie was pulled low over his brows.

"I need to ..."

"I want to ..."

Both started simultaneously, and Emma let out a nervous chuckle when he stepped closer and pulled her into his arms. "You first."

She buried her nose in his scarf for a moment, inhaling a deep breath, letting his scent settled her nerves before she pushed back and reached into the pocket again.

"I know we never really discussed when we wanted to start a family, but you said you definitely want kids, and maybe you still wanted to wait a little while, and probably it'd be better ..."

"Emma?" Killian interrupted her, his eyes wide open as he stared at her, his gaze flickering down to her hand that was buried in her pocket before snapping up again. "What are you trying to tell me?"

Emma took in another deep breath before she pulled the stick out and held it towards him with shaking fingers. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God," he whispered, reaching for the stick and curling his fingers around it, staring at the plus sign for quite some time, his voice a hoarse croak when he finally spoke again, "You just made me the happiest man on this planet, love."

"I did?" Emma asked, relaxing slightly when he looked up from the stick again, his face split up by a huge grin.

"You did," he assured her, and she squealed when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her off the ground, swirling her around, peppering kisses all over her face.

She was slightly breathless when he put her down again, her cheeks hurting from the silly grin she wore on her face, and she leaned back in his embrace, remembering that he had to tell her something, too. "What did you wanna tell me?"

His smile faltered a little bit, and she saw him gulp hard, a slither of fear flickering through her stomach as he released her out of his embrace and took a step back.

"I should have asked you sooner, because now it might seem as if I'm only asking because of the child," he started to speak, lifting his head to scratch behind his ear. It took Emma a second to understand the meaning of his words, and her breath hitched in her throat when he continued, "But I can show you the receipt … of course with the price blackened out … because I'm trying for months to conjure up the courage to ask you and ..."

"Killian?" She was pretty certain she knew what he wanted to ask her, but if she didn't interrupt his rambling he might never ask his question, and she really wanted him to. "What do you want to ask me?"

He grinned at her then, this cute lopsided smirk of his, and then he reached into his pocket and her heart plummeted into her stomach as he lowered himself down on one knee and snapped the velvet box open to show her the sparkling engagement ring he bought for her.

"I love you, Emma Swan. I loved you from the first moment I saw you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." She couldn't see him clearly anymore, tears were running down her face when he asked her one of the most important questions she would ever hear in her life. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she breathed, letting out a sob when she stretched out her hand to let him slip the ring over her finger. "Yes, I want to marry you."

Killian actually carried her down to the apartment bridal-style, ignoring her protests. He told her that they might not be married yet, but she did have to be careful to not overtax herself from now on, and Emma rolled her eyes when he didn't even put her down to open the door.

He carried her to their bed and lowered her carefully on the mattress, taking his sweet time to peel her out of her clothes and kiss every little inch of her body, lingering a little longer over her stomach.

"Hello, little one," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss on her skin. "I can't wait until you're joining us."

A part of her had also been afraid that he would stop having sex marathons with her, because he feared he might harm the child. She shouldn't have worried. He was probably a little bit more careful than before he knew their child was growing inside of her, but he definitely made it his business to keep the mother-to-be well satisfied, and the tremors of her third orgasm still flickered over her skin as he spooned her, and laid his hand on her stomach, pulling her as close as possible.

"Goodnight, you two," Killian murmured, brushing his lips over her shoulder.

"Goodnight," she replied sleepily, laying her hand atop of Killian's as she closed her eyes.

Emma knew life wouldn't always be this easy, but right in this moment it was perfect.

**The End**


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